Above the Law - Thinking Like a Lawyer Podcast - Legal Talk Network

The Bar Exam Death Drive Becomes Dangerously Literal

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 06 Aug 2025 14:30:23 +0000

A woman went into cardiac arrest during the New York bar exam. Thankfully, the administrators responded swiftly. JUST KIDDING! They yelled at other examinees to be quiet and keep working on the test while they deliberated about calling for emergency assistance, according to multiple witnesses. The woman survived, but the bar exam’s unwillingness to admit its mistakes expose the rotten incentives of this stupid, unnecessary test. The Coldplay jumbotron affair sparks litigation rumors… which might be the only idea worse than taking your affair to a concert. And Alan Dershowitz is very angry that no one will sell him a pierogi.

Lawyers Getting Really High On AI Hallucinations

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 14:00:59 +0000

It was a very bad week for lawyers and hallucinations. A federal judge had to withdraw an opinion with fake cites. One Biglaw firm fired a partner over an invented case, while another firm got tossed off a case over AI shenanigans. And the scribe of Ashurbanipal got mercilessly trolled by a judge pointing out that his fake AI cite apology included… another fake cite. Why does it seem like this is all getting worse? A Biglaw firm pushes its start date leaving incoming associates in the lurch and Alina Habba might be the U.S. Attorney for New Jersey. Or maybe not. Or maybe yes.

Who Knew Biting Other Lawyers Was Frowned Upon?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 16 Jul 2025 16:00:52 +0000

Biglaw summer associate let go after biting upwards of 15 people at the firm. Now that sounds crazy, but that’s because it is. We also discuss a lawyer’s biting response to a demand letter. A lot of the professional decorum advocates objected to the tone, but at a certain point how does the profession pushback against aggressive and unfounded demands without public shaming? There’s not another readily accessible disincentive. Finally, we address the gnashing of teeth in conservative media ecosphere over Superman being an immigrant and the knots they’re willing to tie themselves into in order to avoid the obvious.

The Hallucinations Are Winning

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 09 Jul 2025 15:15:54 +0000

Has the era of the mid-sized firm come to an end? Probably not, but with increasing nationalization and the financial pressures that go along with it, mid-sized firms are consolidating and a valuable segment (and price point!) may be lost. Lawyers have faced a steady stream of sanctions for citing fake cases generated by AI, but now a judge officially blessed an order based on AI-hallucinated cases as a critical firewall in the war against machine slop is breached. While AI holds out promise for access to justice, the risk of a lawless free-for-all looms. Speaking of lawless free-for-alls, the Chief Justice explains that he doesn’t care about substantive criticism of the Court because he has votes and the critics don’t.

Supreme Court A Hot Mess

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 02 Jul 2025 16:00:21 +0000

Taking a sledgehammer where a chisel — or better yet nothing — would do, the Supreme Court nixed injunctions it didn’t like by striking down the power to issue universal injunctions totally and addressed schools teaching that gay people exist by expanding strict scrutiny to parents lodging religious complaints. But at least they whined and took swipes at each other over it! Meanwhile, Justice Sonia Sotomayor figured out that if the majority wants to hide their rulings, the dissent can characterize them on their own. Also, the University of Florida Law School gave a top prize to a paper advocating a Whites-Only Constitution. The professor? Trump-appointed federal judge. The school’s effort to explain itself left a lot to be desired.

You Catch More Judges With ‘Honey’ Than With Vinegar

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 14:00:45 +0000

Except those judges aren’t going to like it when you catch them. Like the poor lawyer here who called a judge “honey” during oral argument and entered a spiral of no return. We also had a dramatic week at the Supreme Court, with Justice Gorsuch trying to start something with Justice Jackson and Justice Jackson shutting it right down, and Sam Alito using his concurrence to complain that the transgender care ban is an act of discrimination… and the he wants the Court to be more proud of it. And Vault put out its law firm prestige rankings. Hopefully nothing went down immediately after their survey that radically changed how people perceive the firms!

The Jerkstore Called, They’re Not Running Out Of Lawyers

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 15:15:51 +0000

According to a new survey, lawyers think their law firms are really tolerant of jerks. Are they right about that, or just overly sensitive? The DC Bar election ended in a blowout, but why? For all the complaining about some wild theories on social media, the simpler reason is that leading a bar association in 2025 means standing up to the administration and Pam Bondi’s brother never convinced the members that he’d be able to do that. In fact, the right-wing fear of strong bar associations has gotten so serious that the Florida supreme court actively kneecapped their state bar. And we talk about attending David Lat’s Original Jurisdiction party, which you should also be reading.

So Long And Thanks For All The Bonuses

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 11 Jun 2025 15:00:51 +0000

Paul Weiss fancied itself clever when it offered Trump pro bono payola in exchange for dropping an illegal executive order. Instead it keeps hemorrhaging senior lawyers with more departing to join the recent rainmaker spinoff and associates reportedly high on the new firm’s wish list. While litigators are largely driving defections from surrender firms, at what point does a hollowed out litigation department start to impact the firm as a whole? Harvard Law Review found itself harassed by the government and it looks like the reason might be a snitch burrowed into the White House. And the one-track partnership model took more hits with Ropes & Gray and Debevoise agreeing to add non-equity tiers.

Sex Asteroids, Sleazebags, And Meme Police

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 04 Jun 2025 11:00:45 +0000

Lawsuit against former Texas SG alleges bizarre cosmic sex fetish. The administration made two significant changes to the judicial nomination process, firing the ABA from its neutral evaluator role and kicking the Federalist Society to the curb. The latter move came with an epic rant declaring Leonard Leo a sleazebag. Broken clocks and all. And Kash Patel lays out the FBI’s priorities and child predators and terrorists are now lower on the most wanted list than, “your neighbor who posted an 8647 joke.”

Supreme Court Just Making It Up As It Goes Along

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 28 May 2025 15:30:34 +0000

As Supreme Court season hits fever pitch, we’re joined by Professor Leah Litman, author of Lawless: How the Supreme Court Runs on Conservative Grievance, Fringe Theories, and Bad Vibes, to discuss the nightmare we’re facing. Elena Kagan took the opportunity to humiliate her colleagues last week calling out an arbitrary carve out created to protect their investments. Kagan’s frustration seems to be growing down the stretch, having just eviscerated the government in the birthright citizenship case. Meanwhile, Kristi Noem failed introductory constitutional law in front of the Senate, flailing as she tried to define habeas corpus.

Are Those Seashells In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Threatening An Assassination?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 21 May 2025 14:45:56 +0000

Since we’re cursed to act as keepers of the flame to remind the legal community that several large law firms really did willingly sell out to the Trump administration, this week we discuss our columnist Vivia Chen’s exploration of the unique impact of these moves on young lawyers learning early that Biglaw is more than happy to throw them under the bus.

We also discuss how James Comey’s Instagram pic triggered a tragicomic meltdown of some of the most deranged people on the internet ranting about seashells as a subliminal assassination threat worthy of John Wilkes Squarepants. Unfortunately, some of those internet denizens are also running federal law enforcement. And we conduct a lightning round of quirky Am Law 100 financial facts that will make you appreciate that you took some time off last year.

Bold Strategy Biglaw, Let’s See If It Pays Off

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 14 May 2025 15:00:32 +0000

Biglaw firms who gave in to Trump suffered a scathing 60 Minutes piece and key talent defections, so they’ve decided upon a new tactic: pretending they never made a deal at all! It does not appear to be working. Meanwhile, Justice David Souter died reminding everyone of an era when the federal judiciary cared more about the right answer than appeasing political patrons. Unfortunately, Souter’s nomination inadvertently triggered that change. And we have a Biglaw merging in the offing that hopes to create a new $2B firm.

Biglaw Firms Fighting Trump Keep Winning, Capitulators Keep Losing

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 07 May 2025 16:00:04 +0000

Perkins Coie secured a permanent injunction against the Trump administration’s retaliatory executive order. Meanwhile, firms that balked at putting up a fight against the illegal attacks have seen the White House drag them into police brutality cases and law schools start openly talking about students taking their talents elsewhere. And then the harshest cut of all — a deep pocketed client bailed on a collaborator firm to give business to a firm standing up to Trump. Who could’ve predicted except anyone who ever watched Star Wars. Also we talk about California’s latest bar exam debacle and the White House’s threat against Amal Clooney.

Even Judges Aren’t Safe In Trump’s America

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 30 Apr 2025 20:00:30 +0000

The arrest of Wisconsin judge Hannah Dugan is straight outta dystopian fiction. But at least retired Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer still has faith in the system, which makes one of us. Speaking of the High Court, Justice Sam Alito’s dissent would be laughable if he weren’t so powerful.

Biglaw Brings In Big Bucks

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 23 Apr 2025 14:45:43 +0000

We’ve got key financial data from the top law firms and the takeaway is that it’s good to be a big firm. The Am Law 100 this year revealed that more and more firms have joined the super rich and things look bright for Biglaw. Unless someone triggers a global depression or something. We also discuss what it means to be “bipartisan” in an environment where the intellectual stars of the conservative legal movement are ALSO lining up to call out the Trump administration as a threat to the rule of law. Finally, we flag a troubling law school story about scholarships getting cut when admissions gets blindsided by applications.

Law School Ranking Chaos And Biglaw Trump Deals Turn Sour

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 16 Apr 2025 15:00:11 +0000

US News and World Report released its most recent law school rankings with a side of chaos, but the big takeaway is the scrambling and erosion of the “T14” as an organizing concept. Is it time to dismiss the rankings as arbitrary? At least until law schools agree to cooperate again. Also, Surrendergate continues and the “we’ll do some pro bono for veterans” deal has turned dramatically, with the White House now claiming the authority to “assign” Biglaw firms to work on administration projects. Sound familiar? Along the way, firms are starting to lose senior lawyers fulfilling critical firm roles while the most recent defectors alienate the overwhelming majority of their team. Finally, the Supreme Court has issued some unanimous rebukes in defense of due process and the administration does not seem to care.

Biglaw Surrender Fallout Continues

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 09 Apr 2025 15:00:51 +0000

After a few weeks of watching some law firms stand up to facially illegal demands from the Trump administration… and more law firms rapidly cave to those same demands, we put together a helpful tracker to keep clients, potential laterals, and law students fully aware of where firms currently stand. But we depend on you out there to keep us up-to-date! Meanwhile, more associates have taken a stand against their surrendering firms and some law students have already told the firm recruiting events that they aren’t interested in firms that can’t stand up for themselves. Also the February bar exam numbers were terrible.

Fight Or Flight… The Biglaw Conundrum

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 02 Apr 2025 15:30:15 +0000

Following the Paul Weiss surrender we discussed last week, Skadden preemptively followed suit agreeing to commit $100M in pro bono payola to the MAGA cause. Bringing to light some embarrassing email policies in the process. But other Biglaw firms showed a little more life, with Jenner & Block and WilmerHale suing the administration over its retaliatory executive orders. And a major firm announced an end to on-campus recruiting, which seems like a bad policy for both students and the firm.

Paul Weiss Waves The White Flag

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 26 Mar 2025 21:00:47 +0000

Paul Weiss folded immediately in the face of Trump’s threat, offering the president pro bono services and a retreat from DEI. For a firm that built its reputation on litigation, the move came as a surprise. A Skadden associate called upon the industry to develop a backbone. So she’s not going to be working there any more. There are a lot of dumb things about the administration’s mass deportation to an El Salvadoran prison, but its unironic inversion of the burden of proof is definitely the scariest.

Biglaw Struggling To Deal With Trump Chaos

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 16:15:24 +0000

The Trump administration continues its revenge tour against Biglaw, and Perkins Coie is fighting back. Through counsel at Williams & Connolly, Perkins delivered a scorching takedown of the administration’s arbitrary retaliation against the firm, earning a partial TRO. Meanwhile, most of Biglaw remains silent. And if they aren’t silent, they’re silently deleting references to diversity, including a clumsy effort that autodeleted pronouns from email signatures. And “Stop the Steal” lawyer turned interim US Attorney Ed Martin has his first ethics complaint on the job he hasn’t even really started.

John Roberts Realizes He Made A Huge Mistake

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 12 Mar 2025 14:45:53 +0000

Remember when Arrested Development made this a gag? John Roberts is living it out in real time as the president explains — on national television — that Roberts is a partisan hack.

Amy Coney Barrett seems less excited about the prospect. Meanwhile, the administration is threatening law firms. The dean of one law school is stepping up. Also, what is this — now former — partner doing?

Diddy Lawyer Decides He Gotta Move On

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 05 Mar 2025 15:00:38 +0000

We’re not saying Diddy is an unsavory client, but we are saying Osama bin Laden’s lawyer just noped out of continuing to represent him. We also got some limited insight into the US News rankings and there’s some potential tumult at the top. And Judge Reyes had to blow up a hapless DOJ lawyer trying to defend the indefensible and the Trump administration displayed its inner snowflake.

Who Needs Caselaw Anyway?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 15:30:21 +0000

Elon Musk’s aimless cost-cutting escapades turn to the SEC where DOGE slashed their Westlaw access because no one over there is smart enough to know how legal research works. Apparently now is an opportune time to start committing securities fraud! Speaking of aimless, former judge Alex Kozinski penned a meandering opinion piece about canceling elections in case, maybe, some president might want to consider it. And a few law schools quietly reworked their websites to remove diversity language. They probably won’t be the last.

Someone Needs To Come Get These Junior Associates

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 15:30:03 +0000

Imagine the audacity it takes for a rookie lawyer to refuse to do the work assigned by a midlevel or senior associate. And expect to keep their job? The story of a beleaguered midlevel asking for help with an unruly junior refusing to work has us wondering if the kids are not all right. Also the administration starts calling for impeachment when a judge imposes a TRO of less than a week and that doesn’t bode well for when they start losing real injunctions. And is there any legal question simpler than “the Twenty-Second Amendment limits presidents to two terms“?

Insurer Spending On Lawyers Rather Than, You Know, Healthcare

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 15:20:06 +0000

If United Healthcare considered spending more on a cancer patient and less on lawyers to sue doctors for pointing out they didn’t spend on the cancer patient they wouldn’t be getting so thoroughly dragged online. While the mockery they’re getting is funny, this underscores the dangerous weaponization of defamation (and also copyright) laws, allowing deep pocketed antagonists to squelch criticism by filing low merit suits. Also, a Biglaw firm quietly scrubbed its website of a lot of its “diversity” language as the government steps up threats against private companies. And the ABA thinks the Supreme Court needs ethical rules.

0:00 Small Talk

9:50 UnitedHealthcare

15:46 DEI

21:03 Top Law Firm Representing Trump

23:47 ABA’s Stance on Supreme Court Ethics

400th Episode Spectacular

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 05 Feb 2025 15:30:31 +0000

A jumbo sized episode this week as Thinking Like A Lawyer celebrates its 400th episode with a look back at some big changes in law firms, law schools, and the courts that have unfolded over its last 10 years of podcasting. Original co-host Elie Mystal from The Nation joins the gang to share his thoughts. He’s not particularly optimistic.

First Thing We Do, Let’s Fire All The Lawyers

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 15:20:18 +0000

Trump administration slashes jobs for young lawyers months before they officially start sparking a scramble for jobs. The Justice Department followed up that news by terminating career DOJ lawyers for the sin of having worked on Trump’s criminal cases. One Biglaw firm informs its associates that they’re not getting their full bonuses based on office attendance. While we’re at it… should lawyers rely on law firm bonuses anyway? And a professor gets disciplined for political comments raising the debate: what exactly constitutes a violation of academic freedom?

Tom Goldstein Should’ve Stuck With High Stakes Go Fish

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 15:40:46 +0000

Supreme Court litigator Tom Goldstein, co-founder of SCOTUSblog, is on the wrong side of the law facing a multi-count indictment related to the alleged fallout of a hard-core gambling lifestyle. All while routinely arguing multiple cases in front of the Supreme Court. Legen…wait for it…dary. Also Proskauer proves that every rose has its thorn and Yale stares down on of the most epic downgrades in law school history.

Back To The Office Blues

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 15 Jan 2025 15:40:30 +0000

Sullivan & Cromwell are bringing attorneys back to the office five days a week. The stated reason is to mirror “normal business hours” which is a cruel joke in an abnormal business hour industry. Democratic Party superlawyer Marc Elias faces an uprising at his firm after staff proposed a mandatory arbitration agreement despite many of his top clients openly campaigning on… banning mandatory arbitration agreements. Finally, Wilson Sonsini hands out bonuses but pulls a fast one with special payments.

Judges Decide Clarence Thomas Was Just Confused When He Didn’t Report All That Money

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 08 Jan 2025 15:45:36 +0000

Apparently, Clarence Thomas just didn’t understand how to read the nearly 50-year-old statute requiring him to report massively expensive gifts. That’s the Judicial Conference’s official take in a new letter to the Senate panel looking into the ethical cesspool. The letter becomes public just as Chief Justice Roberts releases his annual report asserting that most criticism of the Court should be seen as improper intimidation and even violence. Before the holidays, we discussed Biglaw firms bucking the trend and not paying out special bonuses. Happy to report that they’ve reversed course.

Ho, Ho, Ho-Cast

Ally Kvidt — Thu, 26 Dec 2024 15:45:02 +0000

It’s a very special holiday episode of Thinking Like A Lawyer with three straight “Ho” stories. First, Hogan Lovells irks associates with a bonus announcement without matching the industry standard special bonuses. Meanwhile, law enforcement just can’t help making Luigi Mangione look more like a sexy martyr and now someone claiming to be UnitedHealthcare is trying to assert ownership of his likeness. And Judge James Ho walks back his prior support for birthright citizenship now that it might cost him a job on the Supreme Court.

Lawyers Who Do Lunch

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 18 Dec 2024 12:00:11 +0000

Can lunch save professional civility? Almost assuredly not, but one judge is going to try. Partnership isn’t what it used to be. Instead of long careers with equity ownership, partners are making lateral jumps with more frequency than ever. More out of the murder of a Kentucky judge earlier this year… “running a brothel out of that courtroom” sounds ominous.

Chapters:

00:00 Small Talk

02:15 Mysterious Drone Sightings

07:20 Lawyer Lunch Date

12:03 Laterals Aren’t Loving This Biglaw Firm

19:15 Slain Judge Accused Of ‘Running A Brothel Out Of That Courtroom’

Replacing Judges With AI And Other Stupid Ideas

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 11 Dec 2024 12:00:32 +0000

Elon Musk says his AI will be able to deliver judicial opinions as soon as he feeds it “all” the cases. It will not, but his impulse sheds some light on a disturbing lack of respect for the rule of law. A pair of judges planning to take senior status as soon as Biden confirmed their successors have withdrawn their plans after the Senate sat on their proposed openings. And law school applications are up big time… and that’s not good news for a lot of students.

Law School Thought Pregnant Women Not Like Us

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 04 Dec 2024 12:00:53 +0000

A pregnant law student sought modest accommodations when finals came over her due date. The school rejected the request saying, “Motherhood is not for the Faint of Heart.” It did not go over well with fellow students. Or alumni. Or faculty. Or pretty much anyone. Drake accused the music industry of conspiring to help Kendrick demolish him in rap battle. RICO claims? They really not like us. Finally, Jonathan Turley accused liberal rage for the disturbing swatting attack he suffered. When his theory of the case turned out to be… wildly and completely wrong, he took a swipe at Joe. And missed.

Law Firm Confidentiality Can’t Be Left To The Honor System

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 18:45:56 +0000

A law firm left its confidential internal documents with juicy information unprotected and was shocked, SHOCKED to find out attorneys read them. Pam Bondi is next at bat for the Attorney General job. While her decision to drop an official investigation into Trump University conveniently after he started supporting her will get a lot of attention, don’t sleep on the TAIL of her fight over another family’s dog. And, finally, we have an un-bear-ably wild tale of a “bear” attack on luxury cars.

Judge Throws Temper Tantrum

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 20 Nov 2024 23:30:08 +0000

The Federalist Society conference included a tour de force in rhetorical fallacy from the Fifth Circuit’s Judge Edith Jones, suggesting that it’s an attack on the “rule of law” to talk about court reform and that such criticism results in death threats! Very cool. Very judicial. We also have a disturbing story out of Biglaw, and discuss the instant reaction to Matt Gaetz being nominated to serve as Attorney General and the dumbest takes that nomination has inspired.

Biglaw Bonus Season Arrives!

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 13 Nov 2024 16:40:36 +0000

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Milbank continues to relish its role as the Pied Piper of Biglaw bonuses, once again jumping the traditional late November bonus announcement kickoff to set the bar for 2024 annual bonuses. We also learned that a number of firms make non-equity pay a share of the partnership expenses despite holding no equity. And one partner out there is using work email to complain about the neighbors with offensive terminology.

Sir Sam Alito Decides No Pesky ‘Constitution’ Governs Him

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 06 Nov 2024 16:15:09 +0000

Sammy Alito openly defies the Constitution with European knighthood. Chicago Law tapes classes but isn’t interested in letting students actually use those recordings. Students are, unsurprisingly, pissed. Professor Richard Epstein brags about replacing scientists with judges. Yes, the same guy who said COVID would only kill 500 people and got the first Trump administration sold on the idea. And mark your calendars for the lawyer movie from Hallmark’s holiday season.

There’s No Studying In Here, This Is The Library!

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 16:15:31 +0000

Of all the iconic lines from Dr. Strangelove, maybe the best is “You can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!” Recently, Harvard began punishing students (and faculty) for silent library protests while studying almost as though maintaining a “non-disruptive atmosphere” isn’t the school’s real concern. Donald Trump brags about Tiffany Trump’s class ranking… even though her law school doesn’t rank students. And states are preparing for the Supreme Court to launch a large-scale rollback on rights.

In 2024 The GOP Is A Big Fan Of Teen Pregnancy

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 16:45:37 +0000

The republican party of the 1990s must be turning over in its grave because the modern GOP is arguing teen pregnancy is a good thing. Equity partnership in Biglaw is a financial windfall, unless you’re in the 10-30% of partners getting a compensation cut. And do you like messy, I mean MESSY, legal drama? The latest from the Texas bankruptcy court romantic scandal is eye popping.

Learning How To Be A Professional

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 20:30:56 +0000

We’ve got some young lawyers out there who don’t understand the basics of professionalism and it runs a lot deeper than just lacking experience. That said, there are some experienced attorneys falling down on fulfilling a different set of professional obligations. Meanwhile, Chief Justice Roberts is apparently very, very sad that the public didn’t appreciate his latest Constitutional rewrite.

Judge Decides To Just Make Up The Rules As She Goes Along

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 09 Oct 2024 14:45:02 +0000

Kathryn Mizelle was rated unqualified by the ABA and it shows. The Trump appointee just took it upon herself to rewrite the law despite acknowledging that higher courts have explicitly declined to do so. But she’s a very special snowflake apparently. Law school rankings are primed for a major shuffle if we’re to believe the available data. And… why do we need a new Matlock?

Eric Adams Must Really Hope Supreme Court Is Serious About Blowing Up Bribery Laws

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 02 Oct 2024 15:30:45 +0000

Eric Adams got indicted last week and quickly pulled out the big litigation guns to explain that the Supreme Court already said bribery was cool. Meanwhile, Jonathan Turley rushed to the embattled mayor’s defense to explain why ACTUALLY it was way worse that AOC once wore a borrowed dress to a party. Judge Pauline Newman’s fight to end the pocket impeachment her colleagues on the Federal Circuit imposed upon her has added even more objective medical evidence that the other judges will continue to pretend they can’t understand. And Shohei Ohtani’s 50-50 home run ball reminds everyone that free stuff still has taxable value.

Debbie Does The Dormant Commerce Clause

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 15:20:27 +0000

Hardcore porn shows up in a law school lecture. You know, the rest of us managed to learn the relevant standards for obscenity laws within the context of the First Amendment without visual aides. Also, Diddy’s lawyers forgot how track changes works with embarrassing results. And Judge Aileen Cannon doesn’t know her Founding Fathers… how a flubbed disclosure form speaks to Originalism’s cynical lie.

The Urge To Merge

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 17:00:17 +0000

Law firms are merging like crazy with announcement after announcement after announcement. What’s driving this big push and is this just going to be the way of the future? Also a judge invites us to meet the new racist, same as the old racist and we discuss the next must have for anyone taking depositions.

What is up with these federal judges?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 11 Sep 2024 17:50:12 +0000

This week’s episode of Thinking Like A Lawyer is all about the wild decisions made by federal judges. First up is a Trump judge doing Trump judge things — but don’t tell him that. There’s a Ninth Circuit judge that keeps using his dissents to make political stump speeches, much to the chagrin of his colleagues. And the Second Circuit comes out against libraries, because we live in the dumbest timeline.

Biglaw’s Back To Office Misadventures

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 28 Aug 2024 15:30:36 +0000

Latham announced a new 4-day office work week, bucking the 3-day consensus, but attorneys are wondering where they plan to put everybody. Meanwhile Milbank is so eager to get to work that they’re inviting first-years to start early. Another firm joins the non-equity partner ranks, and the DOJ files an antitrust case with some of the hottest docs ever.

Disney Lawyers Learn That Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valor

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 15:30:23 +0000

Disney’s lawyers made headlines last week, but not the good kind like you want. After lawyers argued that a free trial to Disney+ required a wrongful death suit to move to forced arbitration, we wondered how everyone from outside to inside counsel dropped the ball here. Immediately after recording, Disney backtracked. Also, is Skadden falling behind? And we talk legal technology!

Who Will Join Milbank’s Summer Bonus Party?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 14 Aug 2024 16:30:41 +0000

Milbank is leading the associate compensation charge — again — with summer bonuses. The associate there must be thrilled… Unlike DLA Piper’s associates. That firm changed course on office attendance and it’s going over like a lead balloon. Elon Musk also changed course, because when he told advertisers to go F themselves he really meant, “if you don’t do what I want you to do I’ll sue you.”

Another Bar Exam In The Books

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 16:15:45 +0000

The bar exam is officially past, now we wait to learn passed. This year’s examination included dehydrating applicants and examinees missing out on their family’s Olympic success. While bar exam changes are coming — and law students can get paid to help — at the end of the day it’s a giant boondoggle pushed by people who’ve never even taken the test. With Supreme Court term limits on the table, let’s talk a bit about how those work. And Jonathan Turley offers a disturbing look into his bizarro view of free speech.

Overpaid Partners, Nikki Haley Lashes Out, And Judge Might Want To Chill

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 31 Jul 2024 15:45:40 +0000

Should we pay associates more and partners less? That’s what this client thinks. Nikki Haley is threatening legal action against her supporters. Top notch politicking! Panel thinks that, maybe, a NY judge who threatened to shoot teenagers shouldn’t stay on the job.

Yale Law School Not Sending Its Best

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 24 Jul 2024 18:00:37 +0000

As soon as J.D. Vance found himself on the GOP ticket, everyone who remembered him from his Yale Law days shared their thoughts and brought out their receipts. “JD’s rise is a triumph for angry jerks everywhere,” isn’t a ringing endorsement. The campaign also tried to pull a fast one with some tricky phrasing about his time on the Yale Law Journal. Kirkland & Ellis adopts a carrot and stick approach — rewarding associates for recruiting and punishing partners for leaving. And we talk about the Baldwin case.

Judges Behaving Badly

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 17 Jul 2024 17:45:04 +0000

The Department of Justice has appointed special counsel to investigate politically charged cases for over a century. But Judge Aileen Cannon decided she has found a nugget of wisdom that every judge since the late 1800s overlooked and jettisoned Trump’s classified documents case claiming that Jack Smith’s was unconstitutionally appointed. Another of Trump’s appointees stepped down after the circuit compiled nearly 1000 pages of misconduct allegations against him. And Northwestern’s overwhelmingly white faculty isn’t white enough for some and they’ve filed a lawsuit.

Biglaw’s Big Billing Bonanza

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 10 Jul 2024 15:00:38 +0000

Law firms are rolling in dough as partners are charging more and billing more. But comparing Biglaw to the NBA? Come on, New York Times. Despite all the money, it’s not trickling down to associates in the form of mass summer bonuses yet, though there may still be some green on the horizon. And why are certain people so angry about testing reform?

Supreme Court Goes Out In Blaze Of Mendacity

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 03 Jul 2024 16:30:59 +0000

The Supreme Court closed out its season sidestepping text, precedent, and history — the trifecta! — to invent a new form of immunity to bail out Donald Trump. Weird, because so many of them were asked about this precise issue under oath and offered very different analysis. We also got January 6 legalized — over the fiery dissent of Amy Coney Barrett — the foundation of the administrative state thrown into chaos — and a blessing for anyone who wants to make it illegal to be homeless.

Law Firm Summer Bonuses Have Started… Will They Continue?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 26 Jun 2024 15:30:56 +0000

We’ve got a few firms dipping into the summer bonus pool. But so far the pack hasn’t followed them into the water. The Supreme Court continues to shoot down the Fifth Circuit, recognizing that politicians can’t use false arrests to squelch free speech and using the Circuit to exorcise — just a little — their Second Amendment hangover. Is there anything normal about the YSL trial? The answer is no.

New Law School Rankings And Old Supreme Court Drama

Ally Kvidt — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 15:00:52 +0000

The Above the Law Top 50 Law Schools ranking is here and this year it’s putting power in the hands of the users. Meanwhile at the Supreme Court, ACB tells her colleagues that not every legal problem is a job for bad history. Sam and Martha-Ann Alito release Unplugged album, and it only took a matter of days into the Clarence Thomas Transparency Era for him to get caught covering up more gifts.

Clarence Thomas Turned Supreme Court Service Into An ATM Machine

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 12 Jun 2024 15:15:12 +0000

When ProPublica first reported that Clarence Thomas had taken half a million in gifts, it turns out they had only scratched the surface. New financial disclosures and some number-crunching from Fix the Court show that Thomas has taken over $5 million in gifts and likely gifts. Meanwhile, Ketanji Brown Jackson got roughly Beyonce tickets with a roughly $4000 face value. Meanwhile, there’s a summer associate taking a horse and carriage to work and Columbia Law Review is finally back online after its board nuked the website over an article about Palestinian rights.

Trump’s Lawyers Somehow Doing A Worse Job On TV Than In Court

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 05 Jun 2024 15:30:26 +0000

Donald Trump is now a convicted felon and everyone wants to know why his attorneys phoned in the defense. They… don’t have good answers. At all. Continuing the Trump beat, Judge Aileen Cannon continued to display a delicate mix of cynical obstinance and outright incompetence, slow-playing a motion to keep Trump from publicly lying about the FBI and then asking for briefing on how the Supreme Court’s CFPB case impacts the prosecution — which it only could have if the Supreme Court came out the other way. And students no longer care about the USNWR rankings… but maybe there’s a better measure of prestige.

Sam Alito’s In Distress Of His Own Making

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 29 May 2024 15:30:05 +0000

You might have thought flying a flag upside after January 6 would be the only “Sam Alito w/10 flag” story of the week, but you’d be wrong. The justice followed it up with another flag tied to the riots and got appropriately roasted over it all by Elena Kagan. Biglaw always paid well, but with partners crossing the $20 million compensation barrier, the structure of Biglaw inevitably shifts to accommodate the new normal. And a law school deals with the most avoidable cheating scandal ever.

You’re A Grand Old Flag, You’re An Upside-Down Flag

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 22 May 2024 16:10:53 +0000

Sam Alito flew his flag upside down in the aftermath of the insurrection. He doesn’t deny that, but he blames his wife for it. Dames, amirite? Aside from the obvious ethical issues implicated by having a Supreme Court justice visibly light in the “defending the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic” department, why is Alito so objectively bad at responding to his scandals? Next thing you know, he’ll be blaming her for the Dobbs leak too. Meanwhile the California bar exam is running into bankruptcy and rather than address the problem, the State Bar is just gonna kick the can further down the road. And Elon Musk’s lawyers again earn their reputation as the gang that can’t shoot straight, managing to Streisand Effect a dispute with a Delaware law expert by threatening to fire a Biglaw firm if the professor filed his brief.

Trump Defense Team Playing Tiddlywinks At A Chess Match

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 15 May 2024 14:20:23 +0000

Having called Stormy Daniels a liar repeatedly in its opening, the Trump defense team was then shocked and appalled that the prosecution elicited testimony to rehabilitate her credibility. The hits didn’t stop there as they attempted to get out of the mess they’d landed in by sex shaming someone whose sexuality is their whole business. Trump lawyers do a lot better when the judge is running their defense. Meanwhile, an organization moved to preemptively pare down Trump’s SCOTUS shortlist to the least qualified, worst behaved candidates and its been a very Ponzi-rific week for one Biglaw firm.

The Gag Order Pt. 10

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 08 May 2024 15:00:01 +0000

Donald Trump’s trial shenanigans continue. Is he going to violate the gag order again? It seems inevitable but… our prediction might shock you! But even if his unfiltered “Truthing” is behind him, there are so many other ways to show contempt of court. And a busy week in Morningside Heights as Columbia Law School students ask school to cancel exams in light of campus unrest, or at a minimum convert its optional pass/fail model to mandatory pass/fail to avoid placing a stigma on worried students. Then conservative judges announced a boycott of Columbia until their demands for “viewpoint diversity” are met. Also, small talk becomes big diss track talk as we devote a whole segment to Drake and Kendrick going to war and the legal implications.

The First Law Of Whoever Smelt It, Dealt It

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 01 May 2024 15:20:26 +0000

The New York courtroom where Donald Trump is on trial is apparently unpleasant. Is that the former president’s doing? The world may never know. Also, the fact that the racists are coming for Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson isn’t surprising — but who gave them the green light? And, a judge learns a valuable lesson about hot mics and why you should always assume someone is listening.

Alienating The Judge And Jury Seems Like A Bold Strategy For Trump

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 24 Apr 2024 14:20:09 +0000

Donald Trump’s hush money trial kicks off after a week of Trump alienating everyone involved in the process by refusing to respect basic decorum and attempting to skirt the gag order by arguing that RTs aren’t endorsements. The Am Law 100 is also out and we talk through some of the key takeaways and Judge Ho tried to defend his take on forum shopping and it’s… not good.

A Big Week For Not Knowing The Law

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 17 Apr 2024 15:00:47 +0000

We continue breaking down the U.S. News & World Report law school rankings and the chaos that its new methodology introduced. And we know exactly who to blame for breaking these rankings. Elon Musk recently went in for a deposition defended by Quinn Emanuel’s Alex Spiro and earned a motion for sanctions. And a Berkeley Law protest goes viral, but all the “free speech” talk misses the mark.

US News Rankings Continue Slide Into Bonkerstown

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 10 Apr 2024 14:45:09 +0000

The full U.S. News & World Report law school rankings are out and they are… something. Duke is tied with Harvard? NYU nearly drops out of the top 10? Are we just hurling darts at a dartboard here? In a sense, yes. At least ever since law schools started withdrawing their cooperation. Meanwhile, a Biglaw firm tried to promote healthy sleep despite being the primary reason associates don’t sleep and Trump’s bond in the NY civil fraud case looks a little suspect.

Supreme Court, Disney, And Trump — A Wild Week In Review

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 03 Apr 2024 15:20:01 +0000

Special guest Liz Dye joins us to talk about the week that was. First, we delve into the abortion pill oral argument where even most of the conservatives scoffed at the right-wing effort to let an Amarillo courthouse second-guess the FDA on science. Almost as though the Chief Justice just tried to crack down on that practice. But along the way Neil Gorsuch showed off his (lack of) research skills and Alito and Thomas sought to revive the legal legacy of a chronic self-pleasurer. Then we check out the end of the showdown between Ron DeSantis and Disney that looks like a major victory for DeSantis until you, ya know, actually read the settlement agreement. Finally, Trump’s got another gag order and went straight to work setting up the inevitable contempt hearing over it.

Did Joe Biden Get More Standing Ovations At The State Of The Union Or On Cold Call

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 15:00:45 +0000

Joe Biden says he got a standing ovation for trying to BS his way through a law school cold call. We call BS on that. Also Cooley Law School finds itself at the bottom of the heap when it comes to bar passage rates again. At some point, the ABA has to step in… right? Finally, the nation’s judges did something about politicized forum shopping and right-wingers can’t stop help but crying about how they miss their cheat code.

Biglaw’s Parental Leave Backslide

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 13 Mar 2024 15:30:34 +0000

Are law firms going to get stingy with parental leave? While most firms report solid revenue, sparking resentment over a few weeks of leave seems like a weird strategy, but DLA Piper recently cut back on the leave available to non-birthing parents. It’s a first as far as Above the Law can tell, but will it be the last? Also, the Supreme Court screwed up its metadata, committing an error that would get junior associates fired. And finally, Joe Biden offered the Court some tough talk… by quoting them.

Too Rich For Trump’s Blood

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 06 Mar 2024 16:00:57 +0000

Donald Trump needed to put up some cash before E. Jean Carroll can begin executed the judgment she has against him. Instead, Trump tried to argue that he was simply too rich to put up a bond. The argument was not persuasive, but it did get Above the Law mentioned on Stephen Colbert. We also discuss the Supreme Court taking up the Trump immunity case even though there’s not a chance they’ll endorse his theory. And when should we just let bygones be bygones with a lawyer’s bigoted past? A law professor says everyone is way too hard on Thomas’s new clerk just because she got fired from a past right-wing organization after racist messages came to light.

Return To Office Policies Attempt To Catch Bees With Vinegar

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 28 Feb 2024 15:30:12 +0000

Another firm begins cracking down on office attendance through punishment. Law firms want lawyers back in the office, but if they don’t want associates spending that office time fielding calls from recruiters, it’s time to consider incentives that treat lawyers like professionals. A Bush judge questioned Trump’s manhood and Amy Wax fights back against the slap on the wrist Penn prepared to give her.

Hard To Say Where Arrested Lawyer Went Wrong But Posting About Selling Drugs Probably Didn’t Help

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 21 Feb 2024 15:45:41 +0000

The Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are living children for the purposes of Alabama law. And while there are a lot of serious implications for the future of family fertility efforts, let’s take a second to consider how much this absolutely breaks the state’s rule against perpetuities. An attorney in the YSL case faces gang charges herself. She’s made some… marketing decisions. Hogan Lovells must ponder whether invoking the wrath of ancient Roman poltergeists are worth a prime office location. Has anyone considered just working from home?

It Pays To Be A Delusional Hack

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 16:40:43 +0000

Former Trump aide Stephen Miller used Super Bowl week to launch a stunt employment discrimination complaint against the NFL. The rule in question is the subject of a much better legal challenge that it doesn’t do ENOUGH to address anti-Black discrimination, but nothing about Miller’s legal moves have much connection to reality — up to and including the fact that he IS NOT A LAWYER. The Supreme Court heard oral argument in the insurrection case and Chief John Roberts hasn’t shown his complete ignorance of basic facts about American elections since Shelby County. Finally, Judge Aileen Cannon receives motion to reconsider, the boldest litigation move of all since it requires counsel so confident in their eventual success that they’re willing to call the trial judge a moron.

Habba Dabba Doo!

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 07 Feb 2024 16:00:36 +0000

Last week may have officially been “Legalweek” but it was bad lawyer week at Above the Law, where Alina Habba dominated traffic with her ongoing futility. Her rapid retreat from the very phony “it’s actually bias that so many prominent lawyers all worked at Paul Weiss” motion after being informed of the very real sanctions that could result. Robbie Kaplan, one of the Paul Weiss alumni in question, also shared her story of Donald Trump pulling out the half-clever schoolyard insults. We also discuss a firm that announced it would lay off 1/3 of the first years… but not say which ones! And we talk a little about Legalweek and how AI isn’t quite ready for primetime… even as lawyers keep getting in trouble for trying.

I Screwed Up Basic Trial Procedure And All I Got Was This Lousy Swimsuit: The Alina Habba Story

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 31 Jan 2024 15:40:29 +0000

Alina Habba may soon be replaced in the Trump legal team constellation, but we’ll always have memories of her crackerjack legal analysis and the stupid swimsuit debate. There are four justices who don’t seem to care about the Supremacy Clause. And Davis Polk faced — and successfully beat — a discrimination suit.

Alina Habba Goes Full Lionel Hutz In Latest Trump Trial

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 24 Jan 2024 17:00:20 +0000

We don’t even talk about Alina Habba’s weird swimsuit thing on the show because it broke after we wrapped recording (next week, I guess!), but we have more than enough material discussing Trump’s lawyer bumble through basic courtroom procedure and lodge motions for bad court thingies in the proud tradition of the Simpsons’ greatest character. We also discuss a racial discrimination lawsuit against Troutman Pepper and whether “the partner is always a jerk” is a defense. And it looks like the federal courts have opened an investigation into Clarence Thomas… which will probably go nowhere.

Donald Trump’s Legal Team Decides Not To Ask Permission OR Forgiveness

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 17 Jan 2024 18:00:31 +0000

Donald Trump’s legal team informed Justice Arthur Engoron that their client would deliver closing remarks in violation of basic New York rules, setting off a series of decreasingly coherent emails with the judge over Trump’s willingness to abide by the constraints of a closing argument. He was not willing to… but he went ahead and did it anyway. Meanwhile, Slaughter & May joined the ranks of firms trying to crack down on lawyers ducking the office using all its surveillance powers and another firm that announced matching bonuses has instituted a retroactive hours requirement to bait and switch its attorneys.

Roberts Explains That Artificial Intelligence Can’t Replace Judges Because How Would Billionaires Fly An AI To Luxury Resorts Anyway?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 16:45:09 +0000

The Chief spent his entire annual report on the federal judiciary on the rise of artificial intelligence and how AI cannot possibly replace judges because the judge is so much harder and more nuanced than, say, calling balls and strikes. Not that anyone would be stupid enough to describe being a judge like that. Steven Calabresi has either lost his mind or is engaged in an epic troll with a series of pieces arguing that Clarence Thomas is the bestest and most incorruptible justice ever! Finally, plagiarism is all over the news for mostly bad faith reasons, but it highlights again that the law isn’t easily governed by rules of plagiarism and copying by design.

2023 Year In Review

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 16:40:43 +0000

As we turn the page to 2024, we reminisce over the top stories at Above the Law over the past year. Layoffs, salary hikes, ethical quagmires at the Supreme Court, Donald Trump’s criminal cases… the legal industry provided a lot of fodder for Above the Law this past year. Join Thinking Like A Lawyer as we discuss all the big stories of the year and ask the question: can it get any worse than this year? (Hint: it can).

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being Rudy’s Wallet

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 16:00:35 +0000

Law firms may hem and haw about raises, but they’re still doing more than all right for themselves. Rudy’s defamation trial did not go well. Before the latest development in the case, we talked about Michael Cohen’s fake case brief and the implications of legal technology on criminal justice.

The Firm’s Doing Great… Also We’re Doing Layoffs.

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 13 Dec 2023 16:50:03 +0000

No one wants to admit weakness, but K&L Gates trying to put a smiling face on layoffs left a lot of observers cold. Meanwhile, Stephen Miller is mongering about a conspiracy to make Taylor Swift famous that somehow doesn’t revolve around her talent. And Joshua Wright has brought a lawsuit against ASS Law despite still failing to understand that his problems are all in the mirror.

Breaking Down The Great Biglaw Raise Of 2023

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 06 Dec 2023 17:00:32 +0000

Milbank got the ball rolling several weeks ago with a round of raises. Cravath has now upped the ante for more senior associates and the Biglaw landscape has finally decided to pile on. Where is all this going and what does it all mean? We’ve got thoughts. Meanwhile Amy Wax went ahead and invited a white nationalist back to campus and one of her students is disappointed that people weren’t nicer about it. Finally, a new lawsuit presents an ethics issue spotter involving Trump lawyer Alina Habba.

Paging Rule 11

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 19:00:03 +0000

After promising a thermonuclear lawsuit against Media Matters, Elon Musk showed up to court with a string of claims that would fail under his own recitation of facts. Meanwhile, Donald Trump takes aim at the Federal Rules of Evidence in a bid to undermine the E. Jean Carroll case and Stephen Miller goes after Macy’s in a cheap publicity stunt.

Trump Complained About Us In His Mistrial Motion And All We Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 15:40:30 +0000

Donald Trump sought a mistrial in his New York trial based, in part, on our articles being “humorous, irreverent.” The GOP frontrunner did not succeed. Ron DeSantis messed with the rights of professors and now has to pick up the tab for their Biglaw lawyers. Or, more accurately, Florida taxpayers will pick up the tab. But that’s just the price Floridians have to pay to help their governor finish third in the primaries! We’re still waiting to see if more firms join the Milbank pay scale, but in the meantime a host of anonymous naysayers are mouthing off to the press in a pathetic effort to dissuade the market from following suit.

Do You Know Where Your Raises Are?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 16:00:28 +0000

It’s been over a week and no firm has yet to announce that it will match Milbank’s latest series of raises. Or, more accurately, cost of living adjustments. Meanwhile, Cravath took the plunge on income partnerships, becoming the latest firm to abandon the time-honored one-tier partnership model. And the turmoil over Nixon Peabody’s effort to sneak Donald Trump onboard as a client sparks calls for leadership change.

Some Clients Aren’t Worth The Risk For Biglaw… And, Yes, We Mean Donald Trump

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 08 Nov 2023 16:45:57 +0000

For most major law firms, the prospect of representing Donald Trump and stamping the firm’s name on his nutty pet arguments is a non-starter. Over at Nixon Peabody, the firm jumped right in, bringing on the former president as a client and filing a brief complete with the zany “Brandenburg means it can’t be an insurrection” argument that Trump’s been having all his lawyers make. Partners don’t seem happy about this turn of events. But, since we recorded, we’ve learned that firm leadership doesn’t really care that partners are concerned. We also discuss Sam Bankman-Fried’s absurd courtroom sketch and the aesthetic brilliance of Jane Rosenberg’s dark and brooding courtroom sketches. Finally, a number of Biglaw firms sent an open letter castigating law school deans for campus antisemitism.

No More Room In This World For Two Ampersands

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 01 Nov 2023 15:45:30 +0000

We thought the end might be near for Stroock & Stroock & Lavan when we recorded this episode. We were right. And with that, the Biglaw world moves to exclusively one or fewer ampersands. A senior lawyer tried to pull a prank on an airplane. It ended badly. And we discuss the last time newly elected Speaker of the House Mike Johnson tried to run something. It was a law school and it failed in epic fashion.

But, Maybe, Logic Games Were… Good?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 25 Oct 2023 15:00:47 +0000

The LSAT is ditching logic games from upcoming tests and the Above the Law gang is conflicted over whether or not that’s a good thing. There’s a good argument that the section disproportionately disadvantaged folks with vision issues. On the other hand that was a deficiency that admissions could address on the back end, but without that score schools no longer have a pattern recognition evaluation — and what’s more “thinking like a lawyer” than pattern recognition? We also discuss NYU Law Review getting sued by Stephen Miller and a lawyer citing Hitler approvingly.

Dispatches From The End Of Analog Lawyering

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 11 Oct 2023 15:20:17 +0000

Joe checks in from the 2023 Clio Cloud Conference joined by Legaltech News editor-in-chief Stephanie Wilkins, dean of legal tech journalism Bob Ambrogi, and Legal Talk Network producer Laurence Colletti to talk about legal technology and the small law market. We talk artificial intelligence, hot legal trends, and access to justice.

One Day You’re Getting Cold Called And The Next Day You’re Shooting Up Cars

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 04 Oct 2023 16:00:12 +0000

Donald Trump’s attorneys don’t have a leg to standing on. Get it? They keep making bad standing arguments and the judge has now threatened sanctions. A former prosecutor arrested in road rage incident because… Florida man. Meanwhile, a judge has stopped hearing cases after he started “spraying bullets” in road rage. Though he says he really doesn’t remember it — you know, how gunfights just slip your mind. And we welcome the return of the time-honored but always stupid debate over the value of cold calling in law school.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before We Had To Talk About This Again

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 27 Sep 2023 15:15:30 +0000

Most Americans don’t understand the First Amendment… just like Amy Coney Barrett!

More sexual harassment allegations in Biglaw, which gives us an opportunity to consider the impact of senior attorneys coming forward to prompt change.

And, yes, there is talk about Blackface at the end because it sadly keeps coming up.

Fifth Circuit Gets Way More Originalist Than You Thought Possible

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 20 Sep 2023 16:00:15 +0000

Sam Alito might be citing witchhunters from the 1600s as authority on the meaning of the Constitution, but the Fifth Circuit is taking it a step further and fighting over how the Bible might interpret a statute governing class action lawsuits. The MyPillow guy lost his composure in a video deposition for all the world to see. Probably had a bad night’s sleep on some lumpy pillows. And it was quite the worrying summer for law students. Summer associates don’t trust that they’re going to get full-time employment and exploding offers have proliferated throughout the industry. At least one firm with a low retention rate this year still found the time to take everyone to the club.

Biglaw Firm Offers Racy, Expensive Summer Event Before No-Offering Summers Anyway

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 13 Sep 2023 16:20:52 +0000

Gunderson Dettmer got a lot of flack on Reddit from folks accusing the firm of hosting a summer event at a strip club. It wasn’t a strip club, but it was a nightclub with scantily clad go-go dancers, which doesn’t make it much better from the perspective of a harassment-free work environment. And after making it rain at the club, the firm ended up no-offering a bunch of summers anayway. Jeff Clark took shots at Neal Katyal on social media. He missed. And Goodwin unveiled an office presence tool to let folks know who is in and out of the office at all times. Folks don’t seem happy about it, but is it just the price we pay for hybrid work?

Amy Coney Barrett Wants Her Cake And To Enact Sweeping Constitutional Rewrites Too

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 06 Sep 2023 16:15:03 +0000

Amy Coney Barrett recently spoke publicly about how she longs for the days when most Americans couldn’t recognize Supreme Court justices, highlighting that justices don’t have to be there long for a culture of unaccountability to set in. Speaking of which, the majority of Clarence Thomas’s former clerks signed an open letter shrugging off his ethical problems. But the real question is… did any of them bother to read a draft before signing on? And a managing partner wrote the firm about the virtues of taking a real vacation and got some blowback from attorneys.

The Law, The Law! It’s Chock Full Of Clowns. Dubious Lawsuits Up And Productivity’s Down!

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 14:45:23 +0000

Law firm productivity is down, but are we really worried about that? It’s a traditional harbinger of layoffs, though something about this market feels a bit different. Meanwhile, a right-wing advocacy group has sued a pair of Biglaw firms for offering fellowship programs aimed at improving diversity — offering a lesson in forum shopping along the way. Finally, former ASS Law professor Joshua Wright brought a defamation suit against former students for harming his professional reputation. He admits that, as a married professor, he was sleeping with multiple students simultaneously but seems to think that’s NOT the part that ruins his reputation.

What In The World Is James Ho Thinking?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 14:45:50 +0000

The Fifth Circuit judge made a bunch of headlines last week and we jump into all of them. Plus Texas’s use of water saws and Ron De Santis isn’t faring well in his battle with Disney. (Always bet on Mickey.)

Well, The Jerk Store Called…

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 16 Aug 2023 17:45:04 +0000

A surprising level of jerk content this week as we discuss the value of real Jamaican jerk seasoning, Clarence Thomas getting his RV financed by a health care executive, Alan Dershowitz complaining about his neighbors, and Judge Aileen Cannon botching straightforward criminal law (more than once).

Supreme Court’s Bitter Battle Over Ethics

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 15:45:28 +0000

Elena Kagan and Samuel Alito have… very different takes on judicial ethics and what Congress’s role is in all of it. Plus, Lindsey Graham has a change of heart about a federal judge because it’s politically expeditious. And a deep dive into starting salaries for attorneys.

So, Are We Just Ignoring The Supreme Court Now?

Ally Kvidt — Wed, 02 Aug 2023 16:30:44 +0000

Alabama is just straight up defying the Supreme Court on election law… but when liberals propose the same thing all of a sudden it’s a crisis for the rule of law. I see how that goes.

Also a hard-working Biglaw staffer gets caught up in a political backlash to what seems like an honest misunderstanding. And law students have no freaking idea what they’re in for.